Yesterday’s Whirlwinds

Yesterday’s Whirlwinds

By: Cindy Thornthwaite

Every day of every week, month, and year are forever the exact same

I know how my day will be laid out again for me before it even starts

Yesterday will happen again and again, always playing with me the exact same game

Swirling in a whirlwind around and around always stabbing at my heart

Spinning me in circles, fast, slow, and out of control, forever holding me in chains

How do I escape the torture and torment how do I ever tear apart

How do I find peace deep within me, but at the same time not feel ashamed

Knowing that today and every day, I’ll repeat yesterday for the most part

Over and over it always and forever goes and every single day I’m filled with shame

As the day begins and it grows and swells it never fails to fall apart

I try so hard to resist and fight but it becomes more and more strained

And I know that full well before this day is through that I’ll rip and tear and come apart

It’s the same as yesterday, always the same as yesterday and all my before days

I want this to stop so I try to scream, cry, but I’ll end up hurting myself and breaking apart

This horrible never ending and painful cycle of yesterday ways

I hold back the screams so no one can see or hear and I’ll just bury them deep inside

Wondering how long can I go on this path of yesterdays and what will happen to oneself

I can’t let anyone see so I hold the screams and pain so deep inside and only to myself do I cry

What would happen, do you think, if I just scream out loud, is there any way I will find myself

Will anyone care or even notice at all, that’s the real question and will anyone stand alongside

Quicker and quicker it feels, I know I am beginning to unravel at my very seams

I miss my joy of life and love and my smile, Lord what happened to my enjoyment of life

I’m afraid it’s lost forever it appears, never to return to me, swirling in the whirlwind screams

Swirling around forever cutting me so deep inside, leaving a trail of blood, just like a switchblade knife

Always turning, twisting, and turbulent it seems, but never does it go away or leave my dreams

My torture and torment are lost forever deep within me, running rife

Someone please help me, anyone at all, friend or foe, for I’ve lost all my self esteem

Help me find me my smile again and whatever you do, bring me some enjoyment in my life

But, I’m afraid my smile and enjoyment of life are lost to only my dark dreams

Hidden inside so deep, never seeing the light, and always slicing me like a knife

Slowly, deliberately I feel, it’s driving me to forever reside in that very dark place full of screams

Where I’m afraid I will forever be lost evermore, never to know the true meaning of my life

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