Black Clouds

I wrote this poem for all my friends who suffer from depression.  It can make you feel totally alone.  (Remember, just because your customer appears “normal” does not necessarily mean they are healthy.  They could be suffering from an invisible illness!)

Black Clouds

By: Cindy Thornthwaite

Standing alone in the dark with a large black cloud swirling around my head

Hanging there all the time and no one sees but me

I feel it swirl and lower around my face

It covers my eyes, my nose, and now my chin

I feel like I’m suffocating and no one knows but me

I struggle to breathe, I struggle to see, but no one sees but me

As it continues to swirl, it moves down over my chest

Squeezing the life of out me and no one sees but me

Moving further down around my abdomen and I struggle even more

Why doesn’t anyone else see but me

They could help me if they could only see

But no one sees but me

Further down around my thighs making it harder to move

I fight and I fight but it continues to squeeze

Someone please help me

Why oh why can’t anyone see but me

As it moves down my legs gripping me tighter I think I should fall

If I just give in and stop struggling so hard maybe I can finally breathe

That way all this hurting and fighting so deep inside will go away and I’ll be free

I would love for it to go away

Please Lord, take it all away

Then out of nowhere I see toes next to mine

Where did they come from and to whom do they belong

I want to know who is there, black cloud go away and let me see

Dear Lord but I need to see

I can do this, I can fight, I can push it away

Push, push, push

Now I can see their legs, their abdomen, and then their chest

I get more excited by the minute because damn it I want to see

Black cloud go away just a little more I’m almost there

Push, push, push there it goes

I see their face and would you believe

It’s my children whom I love so dearly

It’s for them that I struggle and fight so damn hard every day

If I could only send that black cloud far, far away

But it still hangs there over my head all day long

It never leaves me even though I try so hard to run away

So someone please tell me

Why oh why

Does no one see but me


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